• 10 des conseils pour les rencontres en ligne

    Ma pire expérience de rencontres a commencé de manière prometteuse. J'avais rencontré un gars en ligne - il était intéressant et beau, et nous avons eu de bonnes conversations. Quand il m'a demandé de sortir, c'était une évidence, et quand nous nous sommes rencontrés, il était en fait meilleur que sur ses photos de profil. Il était intelligent, drôle et avait un excellent travail. Au milieu de notre rendez-vous, son téléphone a commencé à sonner. C'était sa femme. Soi-disant, ils s'étaient séparés très récemment, mais il vivait toujours dans leur maison et elle pensait beaucoup que leur relation était intacte.

    Vous avez sans doute une histoire de rencontres épouvantable (ou de nombreuses autres). Même après ce terrible rendez-vous, mes amis et ma famille m'ont dit que j'étais trop difficile, et qu'à moins d'assouplir mes normes, je ne me marierais jamais. En fin de compte, j'ai décidé que c'était ridicule. Si je cherchais quelqu'un avec qui passer le reste de ma vie, pourquoi ne serais-je pas aussi difficile que possible?

    J'ai donc commencé une expérience d'un mois, analysant les profils de dateurs en ligne populaires et leur comportement sur les sites de rencontres. Ce que j'ai découvert m'a surpris, c'est le moins qu'on puisse dire. Cela m'a aussi conduit à mon mari. Voici mon top 10 des conseils pour les rencontres en ligne en fonction de mon expérience.

    Faire une liste de souhaits

    Développez une stratégie avant de commencer. Que recherchez vous exactement? Créez une liste de courses et soyez aussi précis que possible. Plutôt que de dire "quelqu'un qui veut des enfants", soyez précis. Dites que vous voulez quelqu'un qui veut deux enfants, séparés d'environ trois ans et qui est prêt à suivre des traitements de fertilité avec vous si la grossesse devient un problème. Faire partie de votre liste consiste à définir ce que vous voulez.

    Garder le score

    Une fois que vous avez pensé à tous les traits que vous voulez chez un partenaire, donnez-leur la priorité. Réfléchissez aux caractéristiques des relations précédentes, de vos amis et de votre famille. Développer un système de notation. Attribuez des points à votre top 10 et moins à une deuxième série de caractéristiques 10-15. Décidez du nombre de points le plus bas que vous accepterez pour sortir avec quelqu'un. Cela consiste essentiellement à développer un algorithme artisanal, rien que pour vous-même.
    Se connecter

    Choisissez quelques sites Web à utiliser. Match.com est un environnement plus général avec beaucoup d'options. Les personnes qui utilisent Tinder ont tendance à ne pas rechercher de relations à long terme. C'est bien d'utiliser deux ou trois sites à la fois. N'oubliez pas que vous souhaiterez activer la plupart des fonctionnalités et que certains sites peuvent être coûteux.

    Aller faire les courses

    Pour la plupart, les sites de rencontre ne font rien de particulièrement mystérieux. La plupart des sites créent des taxonomies et font correspondre les utilisateurs en fonction de leurs réponses. Dans certains cas, les sites examinent l'écart entre les réponses des utilisateurs et leurs comportements. Par exemple, vous pouvez dire que vous préférez un homme très grand avec des cheveux noirs, qui est religieux, mais que vous cliquez principalement sur les profils des athées plus courts. L'algorithme dans ce cas essaierait de vous correspondre en fonction de votre comportement. Mais peut-être que vous cliquez sur tous les profils, même ceux qui ne correspondent pas à vos préférences, ou assis à côté de votre sœur, qui cherche également un petit ami - un petit et blond. Dans ce cas, l'algorithme ne fonctionnera pas non plus. Il est préférable de traiter les sites de rencontres comme des bases de données géantes à explorer.

    Gardez votre profil court

    Les profils longs n'ont généralement pas eu de succès dans mon expérience. Je pense que pour les femmes réfléchies, ou très intelligentes, il y a une tendance à donner plus de bio. Les profils populaires étaient plus courts et intrigants.

    Créer un écart de curiosité

    Vous êtes-vous déjà demandé pourquoi Upworthy et Buzzfeed sont si populaires? C'est parce qu'ils maîtrisent le "fossé de la curiosité". Ils offrent juste assez d'informations pour susciter l'intérêt, ce qui est exactement ce que vous feriez lorsque vous rencontrez quelqu'un en personne pour la première fois. Cela ne veut pas dire que votre profil doit commencer par "9 Londoniens sur 10 sont complètement faux en ce qui concerne cet époustouflant" ou "vous ne croirez jamais à qui ce banquier de North Yorkshire veut à ce jour…". Mais cela veut dire décrire vous dans environ 97 mots fascinants.

    N'essaie pas d'être drôle

    La plupart des gens ne sont pas drôles - du tout - en version imprimée. Ce que vous dites à vos amis au pub après quelques pintes peut faire rire beaucoup, mais cela ne signifie pas nécessairement que cela se traduira sur un site de rencontre. La même chose vaut pour le sarcasme. Souvent, les gens qui pensent être intelligents s’avèrent plutôt mécontents ou mécontents. Voici un bon conseil: après avoir écrit votre profil, lisez-le à voix haute.
    Soyez sélectif

    Il est bon de donner des exemples de ce que vous aimez ou de ce que vous n'aimez pas, mais gardez à l'esprit que vous pouvez décourager par inadvertance une personne en donnant des précisions sur des choses qui, au final, ne sont pas si importantes. J'aime Curb Your Enthusiasm. Il s'avère que mon mari n'aime pas particulièrement ce spectacle. Si j'avais beaucoup parlé de Larry David dans mon profil, je me demandais s'il aurait répondu.

    Utilisez un langage optimiste

    Dans mon expérience, j'ai trouvé que certains mots ("fun", "happy") rendaient les profils plus populaires. Discutez de ce qui vous passionne ou décrivez une journée vraiment formidable à laquelle vous voudriez participer. Voulez-vous sortir avec vous?

    Marché vous-même

    Ne vous contentez pas de réutiliser de vieilles photos ou de copier votre profil de site de rencontre sur site de rencontre. Il existe de nombreux parallèles entre les rencontres en ligne et le marketing: vous devez savoir exactement qui est votre public, qui vous voulez attirer et ce qui est le plus susceptible de le faire.


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